News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa May ordered the ordinance dropped on the German city to remind Frau Merkel of what happens when Germany pisses off the Brits – even if we don’t have the majority of Europe, millions of various Commonwealth soldiers and the Yanks with us this time. We probably have Putin though. So that’s nice.
A spokesperson for Downing Street revealed the move came after May was convinced to have a glass of Brut by Boris Johnson at a dinner party on Friday.
“May never really touches anything alcoholic. Even sparkling water can make her a bit of a mentalist. But she was so chuffed by the Conservative Party slam dunk in local elections that old Bojo convinced her to fire a shot over the bows of the leaky frigate called the EU.”
Next thing, they were at the Imperial War Museum, ignoring the visual warnings of history because they were too giddy to care, and carting a bunch of defused bombs off in an Uber and laughing like loons.
“We’ve got plenty more of them too,” the spokesperson added. “We’re dredging the Thames as I speak. We’re going to give Fritz a few of his own back.
“This is strong and stable leadership at its finest.”
