David Cameron was seen seeking the comfort of his many inherited bank accounts this afternoon after a wounding and very personal setback.
The event appears to have been the discovery that history will not judge him by how lovely his fucking garden shed is but rather the deeply cynical and careless nature of his time as Prime Minister.
The Rochdale Herald contacted an associate of Mr. Cameron for comment. The associate, Suinae Donald, a well known land owner and bacon wholesaler, filled in the blanks.
“Dave is devastated. He agrees to a perfectly sweet and good natured special in that little commie rag regarding his beautiful high end shed and it’s all blown back in his face like he’s cornered a boar with gastroenteritis.”
Asked why he thought things had not gone as expected, Suinae Donald could only muse.
“Search me. Filthy proles are jealous of all Davey boy achieved with his hard graft. Commies are like that. You show them something trivial like a man’s shed which cost about as much as the average annual income in the country and they react out of jealousy. It’s pretty pathetic stuff.”
Apparently members of the public should see the £25K garden shed, which will hardly be used, as an aspirational trigger.
Not as a sign of how if you’re born with lands and title you can get away with screwing the entire country with a brain fart of internal Tory politics played out nationally to impress your friends.
Which you can just run away from when it blows back like a hog with gastroenteritis because you’ve got enough inherited loot to splash out £25,000 on a fucking shed and vested interests to promote.
At least he’ll have somewhere dry to huddle in now when it rains.
