All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity.
The reason for the multi-party agreed new ruling is simple:
“At this stage pretty much anything said by anyone regardless of intent or context is offensive to the sensitive and entitled pricks that humanity has become,” explained Dr Una Venseef of Rochdale Community University’s Snowflakology Department.
“This is pretty much the end of society now,” she/he/they/zim continued, “and people can feel how utterly ridiculous our society and social contracts have become. As a result they act like little twats and take everything to fucking heart! Can’t you just ignore things you don’t like? Not you, apparently. You’re special and shouldn’t have to put up with the idea that someone somewhere may perceive things differently to you and you’re entitled to have the entire machinery of society protect you from acknowledgement of anything other than your shallow ideological bullshit.”
Several groups have attacked the plan saying that it does not go far enough to silence everybody else.
“Technically this plan allows ideas to continue existing,” says (name redacted because naming is the practice of propertarian fascists) “and as long as you allow ideas to exist then you are facilitating hatred. That’s unacceptable.”
New plans, reviewed since the start of this article, are to simply send up all the nuclear weapons and have them crash down, obliterate humanity and end all possibility of offensive language, behaviour, thought and Facebook groups.
