Sean Spicer has put rumours to rest that Hawkish generals in the United States military are deploying military assets without Presidential authorisation.

“Look I know it’s been a shitty week for comparing stuff to Hitler but I can’t think of another way to put it.” Sean Spicer, White House Press Secretary and star of 2011 hit comedy Bridesmaids, told the White House Press Corps.

“Did the Luftwaffe tell Hitler every time they dropped an unusually large bomb? I know the answer is probably probably. But that was then and this now. Was Donald told about the MOAB thing before they dropped it? Maybe. But he does assure me that whoever dropped it on whomever must have had authorisation from somebody who might or might not have been Adolf, I mean Donald.”

The announcement follows an uncomfortable interview in which Donald Trump was unable to directly answer whether or not he had directly authorised the deployment of the most powerful, and presumably expensive, conventional weapon ever deployed in human history, a bunker busting MOAB.

A US carrier fleet armed with nuclear weapons is cruising into the Sea of Japan to face down a rogue state which is about to detonate another nuclear bomb.

The fact that we can’t be entirely assured that this is happening with or without Presidential, let alone congressional approval is making it a little bit difficult to joke about.

Sleep well.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.