A political party full of millionaires has said that the huge £70,000 fine they received for breaking electoral rules will really teach them a lesson.
“Oh yes,” said Lord Sir Chipperfield Jenkins-Smithe III MBE, “We’re really sorry and a fine of £700,000 will definitely hurt us… What? 70,000? Haha ha ha hahaha! Brillian- I mean, right. Totally fair.”
The Conservative party broke electoral rules which are in place to even the playing field and prevent parties full of rich people from having a massive financial advantage over their rivals.
Documents and payments were missing and money was spent in local areas that was far more than the rules allow.
“This is the biggest fine they have ever imposed on a political party,” said Jock MacJock of Rochdale Community University’s Politics dept, “I am sure everybody in politics, a field generally made up of rich businessmen and women, big city lawyers and media magnates, will be shaking in its boots at paying what most of them might have to work for nearly an hour to raise.”
Some Conservative members were keen to point out that the other parties have all had minor tellings off too.
“We will all be able to be totally legit and honest from now on,” said a Conservative spokestoff, “The system of having a toothless organisation like the Electoral Commission, made up people we totally would never think of influencing with our huge financial resources, is totally working to keep us in line and everyone here is very sorry and we totally promise not to cheat ever again. Scouts honour.”
