After 52 of Jeremy Coalbin’s unruly red rabble voted against the party whip over the Article 50 vote in parliament, the Labour leader has decided to finally get tough.
The beleaguered leader has written a stern, strongly worded letter to the 52 Labour MPs who voted against article 50, telling them that this is their absolutely final, totally last, ultimate warning and that they mustn’t be naughty again.
“Jeremy is a very patient man and he’s given his pupils- sorry, I mean MPs- a fair bit of leeway, ” said Professor Len Ninnest of Rochdale Community University’s Politics dept, “but the real discipline starts now. Or rather it starts next time.”
Mr Corbyn had ordered his party to vote in favour of Article 50 as it could be considered undemocratic to block the bill when the public clearly wished parliament to go along with Jeremy’s long held wish to leave the EU.
This despite Labour campaigning against leaving the EU in last year’s referendum.
The rebels included Thangam Debbonaire, Vicky Foxtrot and Jeff Smith: three Labour whips- the people tasked with ensuring that MPs stick to the party script. And eleven MPs resigned their shadow government position so they could ignore Corbyn’s order.
“He isn’t our real dad!” said one Labour rebel who wished to remain even more anonymous than usual, “he isn’t the boss of me!”
Meanwhile a visibly upset John Trickett was reported to have locked himself in the toilets and was refusing to come out.
“He just sobs endlessly and occasionally yells ‘I didn’t even do nothing wrong!’ and kicks the paper towel bin,” said a Commons cleaner.
“It’s great to see Jezza finally getting tough on these rebels after 32 resignations, a vote of no confidence, public criticism of the leader, two leadership challenges, about eight million rebellious Tweets and being consistently given the finger in parliamentary terms,” said the remaining Labour voter, “yay! Go Team Corbyn!”
