UKIP and the Corbynista wing of the Labour Party have reached a landmark agreement to prevent social media posts by their respective trolls and sock puppets from being confused.
From now on, the two sides announced in a join statement, posts by UKIP trolls will be written using a purple font on a yellow background, whilst those by Corbynistas will use a black font on a dark red background.
“We hope this will help prevent any future confusion over the respective positions of the two parties.” the statement explained.
“It was becoming increasingly difficult to explain our position in favour of triggering article 50, of leaving the EU, and on stemming immigration, in line with the democratically expressed will of the Great British people” said Twitter troll “Union Jack” Duckworth.
“These days even brandishing white crosses and gathering together in groups in front of mosques chanting “Send ’em back” and “I’m an un-a-sh-amed racist!” isn’t enough to convince people you’re a revolutionary Trotskyist hell bent on fomenting the overthrow of the ruling capitalist elite.”
“Indeed, we were finding it difficult to clarify that we support triggering article 50, leaving the European Union and curbing immigration, in line with the democratically expressed will of the Great British people.” echoed Dave Spart.
“Back in the old days we had demarcation lines, and there was no problem proving you were a right wing bigot.” he complained, fingering his ‘Ho Chi Minh Lives’ badge and unzipping his red Harrington jacket to expose a dayglo Che Guevara t-shirt.
A spokesman for the office of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that Jeremy was fully behind the colour coding of all social media posts.
“It will make it so much easier to identify and liquidate – sorry I mean re-educate, recidivist party members who hold beliefs that are no longer in line with those of the leadership.” he said, pointing to the increasing complaints over Corbyn’s decision to impose a three line whip, obliging labour MPs to vote in favour of triggering article 50 even if their electorates voted in last year’s referendum to remain in the European Union.
“We are a democratic party and party policy is decided by the membership, not like the old days when the evil right wingers Blair and Brown dictated policy from their Islington palaces.” he said.
“Obviously, once we are out of Europe and the economy has collapsed and we’ve taken over the means of non-production, we’ll be allowing some Europeans back to do the non-jobs we no longer have.” he added.
Also commenting on the agreement, UKIP leader Paul Nutjob confirmed that he was fully in favour of the move to colour coding.
“Purple and yellow are my favorite colours, I’m thinking of using purple rope and a yellow scaffold when we bring back the death penalty.” he said.
“Unless of course we opt for firing squads.” he added.
