Scotch Whiskey and Revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump’s inaugural address.
People who have read at least one book all over the world took to the internet en masse to buy themselves a bottle of scotch and a handgun while listening to Donald Drumpf’s speech this afternoon.
“We’ve made a fortune.” Angus McTalisker told Quentin while he was using the last of his savings to buy a bottle of 1824 Macallan. “We almost completely sold out of priceless single malt whiskey in an hour. We’ve not been this busy since The Cuban Missile Crisis.”
Handgun sales spiked about 30 seconds into Donald’s speech when he started thumping on about protectionism and patriotism. Amazon ran out of revolvers in minutes.
“It’s really weird. We usually sell loads of bullets when people buy a gun. Nobody bought more than one. Very odd.”
Donald Trump is the 45th President of The United States. God help us all.
