Darth Vader is facing a catastrophic attachment to earnings over claims of non-payment of child support.
The alleged offense occurred a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
However, CSA officials pounced when Mr Vader, 47, an unemployed former Galactic Overlord from Heckmondwike in Yorkshire, was observed on Death Star CCTV admitting to Luke Skywalker of Dagenham:
“I am your Father”.
Further investigations by the CSA, always keen to kick a man when he’s down, have uncovered a further alleged child, his daughter Leia.
Mr Skywalker insists, however, that she definitely isn’t his sister because he totally got with her at the Rebel office Christmas party and that would be gross if she was his sister.
The court case continues…
