Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice and Men and Huckleberry Finn have been targeted by angry parents who have expressed concerns about the use of the word in their children’s English texts.
“Dang it,” said Bobby-Jo Smith from Montgomery. “I almost dropped my pan of grits when Betsy-Lu come home spouting that there word. I says to her, where you getting that there talk and she done tell me that her English teacher done learn it to her. Well, blow me down with a burnin’ cross, I says.”
Parents from all over Virginia have similar stories. They have formed an alliance and hand delivered a Request for Reconsideration of Learning Resources form to the Superintendent of the Virginia School District.
“That word just ain’t fashionable no more,” said Billy-Bob Tate Senior, from Lynchburg. “ ’Cept of course, if you done be a BLM racist rapper like that Kanye fella. I mean when Billy-Bob Junior done told me that word was read to him in school, I done got worked up real bad. I done told Billy-Bob, next time he even think a sayin’ that word, I’d darn wash his mouth out with soap. I done told that teacher a’his, we don’t use that word no more now we got coon, darkie and monkey. I’m seriously thinkin’ a haulin’ Billy-Bob’s ass outta that place and homeschoolin’ him.”
Superintendent of the District, Dr Jonathan Black, confirmed that the hand-delivered form had been left with his secretary by a group of parents known as White Kids Matter.
“I’m currently trying to decipher the form with the help of my deputy,” said Dr Black. “We will consider all possibilities in order to come to a satisfactory arrangement that will appease the parents. Except a book burning. We’re not considering that option.”
