The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.
A JustGiving campaign raised £65M in less than 30 minutes yesterday after it was revealed that John McDonnell has been using a calculator he inherited from Gordon Brown to do his sums.
The calculator in question, a Casio fx-115v, has faulty divide and multiply functions and was used by Brown to calculate the value of gold in 1999 and to estimate the return on investment for PFI contracts.
The calls came after Mr Chote heard the IRA fan on Radio 4 two days running firstly suggesting that nobody cares about JAM’s but him and secondly suggesting that households earning £100k were wealthy.
Mr Chote responded by saying;
“It’s a bit odd really. We’re not suggesting somebody earning £100k isn’t doing okay or that their lives bear any resemblance to somebody earning £7.23 an hour. But to suggest they’re closer in earnings to the super rich is a bit mental. Taking a couple of quid an hour extra from an office worker who does alright might be popular. But somebody like Philip Green or Branson makes enough money to buy a new Bentley every hour of every day. We think it’s about time the Labour Party bought a new calculator.”
The ancient calculator which replaced the sundial based abacus used by the previous chancellor Baldrick Baldrick doesn’t carry the million and answers every question with the phrase “some beans.”
