UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black Friday.
The campaign which urges people not to buy a single thing on Friday 25th November either as a protest against consumerism or out of sheer laziness, has gathered pace despite the inate stupidity of human nature.
But retail groups do not appear to be worried, as they relax safe in the knowledge that people will buy twice as much the day before or after.
Head of the British Retail Bastardry Consortium and expert on extracting the maximum amount of urine, Sir Philip Green, has this to say;
“So a few namby pamby lefty types won’t be going out and buying things tomorrow, like muesli and hummus. But we’re damn sure they’ll be in Waitrose today smashing the crap out of the fair trade aisle in readiness for a days abstinence.”
“And as for the others? Well they may think they can resist the pull of a Havabashi 42′ curved screen AMOLED 4K Dolby home cinema system with £10 off the price it was never on sale for in the first place. But sure as shit they’ll be there the next day beating seven bells out of each other for an extra £5 off.”
“I didn’t get this huge yacht for not knowing anything about the stupidity of consumers, you know?”
