Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.
Trump was responding to allegations he sexually assaulted People Magazine journalist Natasha Stoynoff at his Florida estate while his pregnant wife was upstairs when he said;
“Don’t be ridiculous, she’s not my type. I’d never force myself on a woman who’s less than an a nine. Okay. If I’m honest, an eight.”
For the record, Donald, Natasha Stoynoff is not only a beautiful woman and a best selling author she’s also a person who should be able to go to work without being fondled by a dickhead.
Owners of satirical newspapers around the world muttered a collective “for fuck’s sake” when they realised that another day would pass when they wouldn’t be able to make up a weirder story about Trump than reality would provide.
