At the Tory Conference earlier today, Miss. Rudd asked all businesses to compile a list of anyone who looks or speaks funny – except the Welsh – in a drive to pay British workers less.
The first businesses to comply with the controversial request were a small jam producer in Somerset, and The NHS.
An anonymous Home Office insider has suggested that Miss. Rudd was furious with the amount of foreigners propping up the NHS, while foreign strawberry pickers were to be expected.
Doctor Timéon Obwiola said “Of course there are going to be foreign doctors! British people are not going to study for 7 years to earn the same as an Aldi employee. They’d just go straight to Aldi and spend that valuable 7 years getting pissed.”
Compiling lists was not the only contentious suggestion to arise at this years conference, however, as other MP’s hinted at initiatives such as a ‘shades of brown’ immigration points based system, bar code tattoos for post Brexit immigrants, and a call to scrap political opposition.
