In a shock statement today the 1970’s have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.
In July a third of the country decided to flee the oppression of prosperity and comfort, to begin walking back across the decades towards miserable sanctuary in 1975. They were closely followed by the value of the pound, and in a statement today the PM Theresa May announced that human rights were also packing up and heading south.
But as the first refugees from this decade began to arrive they were met with stiff resistance and put into camps. A spokesman for the 1970’s, Dim Javidson, had this to say,
“We don’t want ponces, poofs and darkies from the future coming here, we’ve enough of our own. They should have stopped in the first safe decade they came to. Let the 1980’s take them. They should have stayed and fought for their decade instead of running away. They’ve all got money or else how could they afford to make the trip? And where are all the children?”
The young people of today had this response;
“With great sadness we waved goodbye to our parents as they began their long terrible voyage. They threatened to send for us when they were safe, but we said we were ok thanks. They put their trust and money in the newspaper nostalgia smugglers like Murdoch and Desmond. We hear reports of people being stranded in 1989 when the whole of Europe began to taste freedom. They definitely don’t like foreigner’s freedom.”
Young people continued, “But at least with them gone we might get a bloody house now, and have to wait less time at the doctors.”
