Facebook was in chaos today after the soaring popularity of the Spell Check a Racist (S.C.A.R.) page caused a stack overflow causing the entire network to grind to a halt.
“Sadly, we had no choice other than to temporarily take the page offline until the current surge in racist illiteracy subsides, but this seems unlikely” Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg is reported as saying.”Until we can invest in better infrastructure it looks like the hoard of hoofwanking bunglecunts on some of our less evolved pages will just have to cope without the benefit of S.C.A.R. guidance. We apologize for any inconvenience caused, but rest assured we are working around the clock to restore normal service.”
The outage has already seen a notable decline on some of the more laughable pages. Since its inception, S.C.A.R. has been working hard to raise the literacy of the ‘Britain First’ page, a mouthpiece of some wannabe Nazi party, from ‘Brain-damaged Chimpanzee’ to something approaching ‘Crack-smoking Neanderthal’.
“We do this not by educating bigots, heaven knows we try, but by diluting the pool of filth with more hygienic thoughts. Think of us as chlorine.” said regular S.C.A.R. contributor Constable Crackerjack from the Grammar Police. “Of course we still make every effort to spell check the knuckle-dragging spunktrumpets, but their euphoria at the temporary lack of public humiliation has caused the standards of spelling, grammar and basic humanity to slide. We last measured it at ‘Stunned Slug’ but have since been unable to get a meaningful reading. Maybe the meter is broken? Surely they can’t be that stupid?”
We asked Mandy Clunge, an avid Britain First supporter who wishes to remain anonymous to comment, but it appears she didn’t understand the question. “BLAME THE BLODDY IMIGRUNTS CUMIN HEAR AND TAKEN R PAGES DOWN !!!!!!!!! THERE BE RAPIN R TWITTER NEXT BRITIN FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Britiain First leader Paul Golding was unintelligible to comment.