The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not, a 33-year-old North Korean doctor with a gun to his head said:
“Our revered leader personally helped us in devising our perfect universal cure which is 100% successful” in a statement for The Rochdale Herald.
The regime would not offer any specific evidence to back up their claims but did allow us to speak freely to some specially selected citizens.
We were directed to 42-year-old school teacher, No Ting Wong, whose brother was cured of AIDS last year and she said with a gun to her head:
“My brother was so ill and we thought there was no cure but a doctor eradicated the disease. The method used was called starvation. He got really really thin and then died but the AIDS is no more. God bless our dear leader.
No Ting Wong was later shot for being sarcastic.