There was panic and pandemonium on a Jet2 flight to Rhodes yesterday morning when the editor of The Rochdale Herald, Quentin Q Fortesqueue, realised that the Gin Service had been cancelled.
The cabin crew made the announcement that no Gin would be available on the flight during an announcement to inform the passengers that the landing gear had malfunctioned, and that they would have to circle the airport with one wheel down to burn off fuel so the plane wouldn’t explode when they crashed.
“It’s a fucking outrage, that’s what it is.” Quentin heroically told us during an illicit inflight telephone call during his cigar break in the toilet. “90 minutes without a Gin and Tonic and I’m almost out of Scotch. I’m going to sue. Provided we don’t all die, of course.”
The Boeing 757-200 has recently been converted from a passenger aircraft to a Jet2 jet and features mod cons such as a toilet, several doors, some seats, two working wheels and no fucking gin.
Unsurprisingly the aircraft landed completely without incident although The Sun immediately ran a photo of an Airbus and spelled Greece “Greeen” in their coverage of “the incident”, which was little more than an hour and a half delay.
Quentin has been suitably medicated.
