Former Auror and famed ‘boy who lived’ Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days after she publicly denigrated the plaid and corduroy socialist.
“Obviously I could have supported Owen Smith, ” said Potter, who now uses the muggle name Daniel Radcliffe, “after all the sorting hat nearly put me in Slytherin! But instead it put me in Gryffyndor so Corbyn it is!”
Rowling is reportedly furious.
“The ungrateful snivelling hedge witch! Who the Malfoy does he think he is?” a reliable source apparently overhead her say, “I should have made it about Neville! He’d definitely support Owen!”
Rowling stressed on that Twitter thingy that Corbyn is the worst thing since sliced syphilis and should be cast into a pit of doom after being cursed with that Avacado Kedavra spell thing.
Readers who have already stopped reading to comment how the Radcliffe interview was actually a year ago are reminded that this article just referred to him as Harry fucking Potter so perhaps the timeline isn’t the thing that should first jump out as fictional.