Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement Man Of The People by not filling the application in until five minutes before the dealine and then forgetting to click the send button.
The UKIP MEP who has lost several elections- with the exception of the one to the European parliament he doesn’t believe in- failed to register in time for candidacy in the election of UKIPs The Nigel Factor reality contest.
“To be fair, ” said the man who once described the attitude of Mancunians towards Stockport as just like apartheid, “I wanted to show that I was just as incompetent as Nigel Farage and fit to fill his Union Jack emblazoned brogues.”
Steven, who has long been UKIP’s token black man, despite making Carlton from Fresh Prince seem like Malcolm X- also recently messed up in his attempt to renew his UKIP membership.
“You have to remember that the public are fed up with experts, ” he explained, “so what could be better than somebody that’s too stupid to stay a member of their own party?”
Whether or not Mr Woolfe will be able to stand for his party’s leadership role remains to be seen. But he is staying hopeful.
“To be fair, as long as I can get some jibes about Muslims in The Sun in the next few days, I reckon it’s a done deal!”
