Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism.
“Clearly this is nonsense, and just sour grapes, ” said Sir Digby McNugget, who taught Cameron how to tie his shoes, “The honours system is a symbol of our grand heritage and would never be abused in this way.”
Lord Cedric Smythers OBE MBE KNOB agreed: “Obviously my constant donations of money to the conservative party have nothing to do with any of the honours I received. It was my work for the charity Pullovers For The Posh that led to my knighthood!”
Meanwhile others have pointed out that even Saint Tony of Blair pretty much used the Honours system to big up his homies so therefore it’s totally right that Cameron gets a go.
“What these whining losers don’t realise,” said Baroness Andrea Bulldog, David Cameron’s flower arranger, “Is that once you’ve got in with the top dogs and siphoned as much money as possible out of the system, money is no longer much of a reward. Why would you resent us getting a place in an unelected chamber and loads of free stuff? It’s just pure class hatred!”
