Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime.
Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things explained by local financial whizzkid, Imran Stockdale:
“Currently your savings accrue interest at the rate of absolutely arse all,” he told a meeting of the Rochdale And Bury Bankers Association, “whereas after this drop the rate will now be in the region of sweet fuck all.”
Apparently this is good for the economy if you believe that the field of economics is not a steaming pile of pseudoscientific bum gravy.
“People on tracker mortgages will be better off,” added Imran, “and obviously the filthy rich will be able to just carry on as normal whilst pension pots disappear.”
In better news, Michael Gove got served.
