After the success of its restaurant based dating show, Channel 4 are set to do a one-off Xmas special to coincide with Paul Golding being sent to prison called ‘Britain First Dates’.

The show will centre around some of the ‘Patriots’ that follow Golding’s cult extremist group, Britain First, yet are amazingly still single.

Never before will so many knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing fuckards have been caught on tape during their courtship phase, as this normally only takes place in the bedroom with just a laptop, a box of Kleenex, and a Vaselined hairbrush handle present.

Head maître d’, Fred Sirieix, told The Rochdale Herald:

“E am zo exzited by diz show, zit will be zo very romantic episode”.

When we asked Fred if he had ever heard of Britain First he replied:

“No, nevaire, are zey a boy band”?

Good luck Fred from all of us at The Herald, we think you’re in for a shock.

If you’re female, thick as fuck, love tattoos of St George and British Bulldogs, have recently had a lobotomy, and think you may be interested in appearing on the show, then please, don’t.

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