Police were called yesterday afternoon after a large group of women were caught flouting the controversial “Burkini Ban” on Rochdale’s world famous Stansfield Beach.

Members of the public walking their dogs were distressed to see the women minding their own business and wearing clothes while paddling in the sea, some appeared to be laughing and playing with each other.

“It’s discustin that’s what it is. Coming over here and not getting there tits out when they go swimming and that. It’s just not decent or proper is it? Innit?” Said Raymon Morgan, a topless social media intellectual told us.

“People shud be aloud to where whatever they like wen they go swimmin. These Burkinis shudnt be aloud.” Anne Bothwell allegedly typed on social media with her flippers after being confused by a photo of a group of Nuns playing on a beach that obviously isn’t in landlocked Rochdale.

If women want to wear hats, scarves, bikinis, wetsuits, Burkinis, banana costumes or nothing at all when they go swimming it’s nobody’s business.

So called Islamic State, Saudi Arabia and several other repressive regimes restrict women’s freedom of expression, doing the same in Europe is completely illogical if you want to improve the lot of women.

France is flirting with oppression. Stop it.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.