Quentin D Fortesqueue
Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.
Liberal Democrats secure vital Rastafarian vote
The Liberal Democrats' General Election campaign took a huge step forward this morning after they secured the vital UK Rastafarian vote.
Man whose bike cost more than first house deposit forgotten what he was trying...
A middle aged man from Bamford is suffering from existential angst after realising his bicycle costs more than the deposit for his first house.
Labour apologise for accidentally not running over Laura Kuenssberg
The Labour Party leadership have taken to social media today to whole heartedly apologise for accidentally running over a BBC Cameraman, Giles Woolerton, this morning.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI
The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Labour to legalise Liam Fox hunting confirms Jeremy Corbyn
Labour has confirmed a new manifesto pledge today following the announcement by Theresa May to allow a free vote on reversing the 2004 fox...
Nigel Farage thrilled to hold onto Question Time Seat
Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit...
Nation in shock as use finally found for Ed Miliband
The nation was in shock this afternoon after rumours began circulating that Ed Miliband had done something useful somewhere up North.
"It can't be true."...
Politician was my second choice, I really wanted to be a maths teacher admits...
Diane Abbott has responded to criticism of her dismal interview performance on LBC yesterday by saying that she never really wanted to be a...
Corbyn manifesto pledge to roll Tom Watson in carpet and throw into the sea...
Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at...
Refugee children launch crowdfunding campaign to buy Ivanka Trump a Spa Day
Asylum seekers were devastated to learn today in an article in The Independent that Ivanka Trump, daughter of the megalomaniac and golf enthusiast Donald...
Theresa May demands Trial by Combat to avoid EU trade negotiations
Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.
She...
If anyone is going to offer stable leadership it’s us, say bolted horses
Bolted horses around the UK have taken to social media to suggest that they could provide better leadership than Theresa May.
What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny
Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.
Jury rules justified homicide after man murdered for drinking mug of tea without removing...
A jury has ruled justifiable homicide in the case of a man who was beaten to death on a train near Rochdale after several...
Jeremy Corbyn rules out coalition with Labour MPs
Jeremy Corbyn took the bold move today to rule out a coalition with SNP, The Greens, The Liberal Democrats and any of the politicians in The Labour Party.
Talking to...
Jeremy Corbyn confirmed as contestant for Strictly Come Dancing 2017
It's shaping up to be another great year for Strictly Come Dancing as yet another political star is confirmed on the line up to...
