Inspired by an undercover report on working practises at the JD Sports Warehouse in Rochdale, the Governor of HMP Prison Manchester, Dave Morrisey, had an epiphany;
“Strangeways is rife with drugs, mobile phones and violence, you name it. I saw that news report on Channel 4 about JD Sports’ warehouses and I thought the supervisors there had really nailed running a gaff. No one puts a foot out of line in there.”
Mr. Morrissey promptly phoned the JD Sports Warehouse site director, Cecil Flange, to ask about retraining his wardens;
“Cecil was very receptive to the prospect of a working coalition. He enjoyed the thought of his mindless thugs teaching our wardens how to be petty misery inflicting arseholes and he looks forward to learning some new prisoner punishments to try out on his agency workers in return.”
The first batch of wardens are due to start at the warehouse next week and are not relishing the prospect.
Walt Jones, a warden of 28 years said;
“It’s a joke. I watched that report and the staff there are treated worse than my prisoners. If one of them jumped up little clipboard carriers talks to me that I’ll stick the nut on the bugger.”
JD Sports is in advanced talks with Putin about job opening new warehouses in Siberia.
