A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed.
“He was the most doting husband when we first married,” Mrs Marjorie Casserole begun, after phoning the Rochdale Herald’s confidential marital helpline, shed division.
“But for the last couple of years now it’s like he doesn’t want to spend anytime in our house. He says he’s not going anywhere. Just ducking out to the shed luv, is what he tells me, but he doesn’t come back inside till after midnight some days.”
We recommended she install state of the art modern surveillance equipment in her husband Barry’s shed.
“Oh no, if I start snooping than the marriage is well and truly over. You don’t have anything if you don’t have trust.”
Inquiries over what he was doing yielded little.
“He says he’s teaching himself pottery. He’s even gone as far as to get a wheel and a bag of clay. I did see his laptop once and it did have cookies full of websites to do with spinning plates. But that’s all just a cover.”
A quiet word with Barry gained little insight. He initially refused to open the door to his shed to our correspondent. Long enough for us to become suspicious and leave.
“I don’t know why he didn’t open up to me when he first started having concerns about the two of us?” Mrs Casserole added, “Instead of…this is so lurid. It’s so cheap! If it was another woman I could perhaps understand, but a shed? That’s not natural.”
We next suggested Marjorie get her own shed and put it in the yard next to Barry’s.
“I could order it, but I bet your bottom dollar he’d immediately stuff it full of tools and never look at it again after. The bastard.”
