Hip new fashy fashion hits Brownhill School
All the coolest kids in Brownhill School, Rochdale, have adopted it. “Yeah well, Harvey Weinstein was a Democrat so ner,” is the new top riposte in their ongoing battle with arch-rivals Redwood Secondary School. This adds to the pre-existing highly effective but super-selective finishing move “oh, vegetarian are you, like Hitler?”
Brownhill is now positioned for success in the Metropolitan Borough of Rochdale’s upcoming online debating competition.
As regular readers will know, Brownhill has found itself a leader in the online debate community, after kids innovated the popular method of arguing against any form of progressive policy by extrapolation.
Redwood kids however think the rival schools should team up. They offer up their own firecracker arguments like “free trade made us the world’s richest nation” and “The Empire helped civilise savages,” both of which are well received by online judges.
Whilst the warring pupils are naturally convinced of Rochdale’s ascendancy, they need to find some way for common ground. Rochdale’s finest online mass-debators frequently come a cropper in the North West championship when up against those damned MGS kids, with their proficiency on spelling and grammatically correct arguments.
However, regional investment by a sympathetic government keen that we move on from relying on experts offers hope. A brave new world, where blue collar types can embrace subservient wage slave obedience, knowing that golf-obsessed fascists, in literal golden palaces, built from inherited wealth, that they’ve only partially squandered through their own business ineptitude, has created one final killer argument:
“HAHAHAHA KEK WINS FK YOU I’LL DOX U,” was deployed at the last regional heats by self-proclaimed “weaponised autist” Jeremy Spaffin. Jeremy, 14, lives with his mum, and hopes to be a train driver when he grows up.
