A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that originally bought it.

The bottle has been gifted an estimated twelve times, passing hands through various couples evening meals and get togethers, without ever being opened.

After eighteen months it has eventually been gifted back to Daniel and Charlotte of Nordon.

We asked Charlotte if she remembered buying the bottle and who they gifted it to, she said, “We were invited round to Philip and Lucy’s house for dinner last May. They always give small portions and it’s usually something uninspiring like a typical pasta dish using jarred sauce, with garlic bread cooked from frozen; hardly worth a decent wine, so we got the cheapest bottle in the proximity to the queue at lidl on the way over,”

“We can’t believe it; that bottle must of seen a good few curry and homemade tapas nights and not one person has opened it! I can’t guarantee that it’ll taste like vinegary piss, but the price, the slightly squint label and the pretentious name hints at it.” Said Daniel.

When asked what they intend to do with the prodigal bottle, Charlotte had this to say:

“I can’t risk giving it to any of my other friends again in case it’s done the rounds through them; that would be so cringey. I’ll probably donate it to the church Easter fayre’s tombola table, or give it to that miserable cow Karen at the office for her leaving present.”

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.