Following the awful Las Vegas massacre, the Great Leader of North Korea has barrelled into the ensuing gun control debate. His message came through his mouthpiece state TV channel via the sycophantic, shouty news reader we are all so fond of.
“Guns are so last century! If you have a gun and I have a nuke you’re toast! If everyone has a nuke then a paranoid fruitcake with his finger on a button can never hurt a soul! He’d be blown to bits, with a 5 mile radius crater! Problem solved! Praise our great leader! ”
The NRA has angrily responded, a gun salesman, sorry, spokesperson told us;
“That is ridiculous, we are only safe if everyone is sane. We can’t give nukes to suicidal nut-cases. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. The answer is guns, they are far less dangerous. Buy a gun, hell, by two guns. Then all you need is a crystal ball so you know when to use it before you’re shot in the head.”
The NKA (national knife association) is yet to respond, but is known to favour them in self defence against people with fists.
The SSA (sticks and stones association) has issued a statement saying words will never hurt them, but they’ll happily throw stones at anyone who has a stick.
One quiet person, struggling to be heard within all the shouting, suggested that as you never know when the killer is going to strike, more guns is not the answer, and that one power crazy narcissist with nukes is preferable to two of them, because at least the one can feel he has the bigger dick, but it would be best if none of them has the ability to surprise anyone with indiscriminate mass murder.
He’s been shouted at by the shouty Korean newsreader as we speak.
More on this as it develops.
