Hundreds of Swedes were not killed on Friday night by a terrorist attack. A suicide bomber, described by police as non-existent, failed to detonate explosives in a crowded shopping centre, or, indeed, anywhere else.
The blast could not be heard five metres away, let alone five miles. Thousands of pounds of damage was not caused by any device. ISIS failed to claim responsibility for the lack of casualties.
Donald Trump, 70, a fake president, said, ‘This just proves that I am right to ban Muslims as if a bomber had been allowed into Sweden, which is in Europe by the way, I know countries, lots of them, including some bad ones, which is why we need the wall, he might have caused a yuge disaster with a loss of yuman life. I will be contacting my great friend the Swedish prime minister Olaf Palme to offer my sincere condolences.’
Upon being told that Palme was dead, he replied, ‘Him too? When will this carnage end?’
