Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a “Gammon Pride” event being held in London today.
The event will see gammons from all over the country converge on London to celebrate gammon culture.
Cliff Edge told us, “There will be floats that we’ve been decorating all week. The one I’ve been working on will send a message of hope and unity. It’s simply called, “F**k EUR Islam”. I think it captures the spirit of the day.”
It’s alleged that UKIP leader Gerald Batman will be judging the best float competition.
In response to the Met Police’s statement warning of potential violence one organiser told us, “There’s not going to be any violence. We’ve got a bunch of football hooligans doing security and we’ve spent all day yesterday talking about wearing yellow vests and beheading politicians. We’ve taken all the precautions we can to avoid violence. This is about pride in our country.”
The route of the march takes in several branches of Wetherspoons. One marcher said, “It’s important to stay hydrated if the police kettle us. I’ll be stopping at various Wetherspoons on the way. I’ve also got a load of cheap cocaine to keep my energy levels up.”
Gerald Batman said, “This isn’t a far right march. Everyone will be wearing suits and giving salutes because they take pride in leaving the EU. Tommy Robinson is coming to speak because he’s a socialist. He wants to discuss workers rights.”
It’s alleged that if todays pride event goes well then there could be further events held around the country.
