Lancashire Police have urged the public to be vigilant today after a reputed sighting of a gigantic spider who breaks into homes to poke holes in sofa upholstery.

Detectives are working with the RSPCA to locate the gigantic spider which might or might not have as many as fifteen legs and is said to be armed with quite an expensive fountain pen, which went missing on Thursday.

A police helicopter is involved in the search operation but specialist officers, who also consulted a massive spider expert, have found no trace of the animal.

The operation to find the huge naughty spider began this morning after Briony Dickinson, aged 4, spotted the animal in the living room poking holes in the sofa with her father’s missing fountain pen while her Dad was in the kitchen.

“I’m just glad Briony had the good sense to remain so quiet through the whole ordeal.” Steve Dickinson, 41 and a bit, told The Rochdale Herald.

“I was in the kitchen making myself a cup of tea for almost three minutes when I noticed that it was mysteriously quiet in the living room.”

“When I went into the living room I found Briony completely innocently inspecting the fountain pen sized holes in the side of the sofa that the gigantic spider made.”

“It must have been a really massive spider, she says it was about the size of a large dog, because she really was very quiet during the whole affair.”

“Obviously after she insisted that it was a massive spider that made the really expensive holes in the side of the sofa I immediately called the police and got the search operation underway.”

Chief Inspector Pat Harris told The Rochdale Herald. “We are urging members of the public to be vigilant.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.