Leader’s of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat.
One spokesperson said, “It’s been a tough few days. It didn’t look like anyone was going to agree on anything but then Trump left for the Philippines to meet Kim Jong Un. It was much easier after that. Everyone quickly came to an agreement that Trump is an insufferable twat. We quickly put that out and everyone seemed happy with it.”
It’s been a rocky road for the G6. On Friday Trump suggested allowing Vladimir Putin back and reforming the G8. Putin was previously kicked out of the group over “creative differences”. Many of the members disagreed with him over aspects of Geography and his ideas on the ingredients to popular Italian dishes.
Today the G6 looked to play down Trump leaving them early in order that he can argue with Kim Jong Un over who invented the Hamburger.
One French diplomat said, “This new group could be like Fleetwood Mac after most of their original members left. We could look to a future of Rumours. Or, we maybe like Take That.”
The British Government was happy with the outcome. One Minister saying, “The last couple of meetings we’ve been like the old uncle who turns up, sets off okay but ends up getting plastered, soiling all the furniture and having to be put to bed. Even Boris Johnson managed to keep a lid on the urge to sing, two world wars and one world cup. In fact, he only pretended to be Churchill 4 times over dinner.”
It’s understood that Trump has already decided he can do business with Kim Jong Un after Kim promised to let him build a golf course in the demilitarised zone.
North Korean watchers have privately told us that Kim sees a Trump Hotel in Pyongyang bringing about a great improvement in the North Korean hospitality. This had led even seasoned North Korea watchers, familiar with the abuses visited on its people to speculate how bad it must be now.
