The ludicrous dictator of a crackpot banana republic full of gullible half starved peasants is to meet with the leader of North Korea, it has been announced.

News of the meeting was delivered by South Korean officials after talks at the White House.

They passed a verbal message from Mr Trump saying the leader of the rogue state was “committed to denuclearisation”.

Mr Kim hailed “great progress” but said sanctions will remain in place.

They passed a verbal message from Mr Kim, saying the North Korean leader was “committed to denuclearisation”.

The leader of the UN said the news “came like a miracle”.

“If Chairman Trump and President Kim are able to complete the denuclearisation of the continental United States then just perhaps we’ll be able to avoid Armageddon.”

The two leaders are expected to play golf for a hooker a hole at one of Mr Trump’s gaudy palaces during the visit.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.