The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 continues with this prime example of the art of satire by Quentin D Fortesque.
Lord Quentin D Fortesque MDF.DFS.NVQ.GNT. is not only a wonderful boss and visionary Editor in Chief but he’s rich and oh so handsome and if I didn’t include at least one of his articles he’d rip me a new one.
Originally published on 4th of September it’s:
“Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN”
It is all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
The woman spends her benefit money on designer clothes and holidays while forcing the state to pick up the tab for feeding her children, one tabloid revealed today.
“It’s going to be a nightmare for her.” An aide to the benefit scrounger told The Herald. “There’s a two child cap on child support benefit, goodness knows how she is going to cope with this.”
The woman who is in a 57 bedroom council property is said to have already applied for larger accommodation.
“The real challenge for her is applying for the thirty hours free childcare for her other urchin. That paperwork is a killer.”
The woman, who is thirty five, is said to be struggling to get by on the income from her husband’s paltry £450,000 a year trust fund and handouts from the state amounting to tens of millions of pounds a year.
“The government really urgently needs to look into lifting the two child cap on support for children and streamline the system for receiving the thirty hours free childcare.”
“Or this woman just won’t be able to cope!”
“Without child support this woman would only be able to afford two or three nannies in her retinue, and perhaps two drivers and half a dozen close protection officers and two or three dozen maids, cleaners, chefs, butlers and footmen. Not to mention her helicopter pilot!”
“This needs sorting out NOW!”
One week to go. Number seven in tomorrow’s copy of The Rochdale Herald.
