After a record low of zero days in the job, the new UN Ambassador, whose job it would’ve been to generally spread love and harmony all over the place has been given the right royal ‘up yours’ from the United Nations.
General man about town and soul of the party, Robert “laughing boy” Mugabe is said to be well pissed off and frankly, fuming at the snub. One of his bodyguards told us,
“He hates the gays and pretty much everyone who isn’t in his small circle of party indignitaries. He’s a real card. His quip about Hitler being a fine upstanding guy had us all giggling a few years back. His funniest gag was when he bulldozed all those houses of those poor people he hated and called it ‘Operation Clean Up the Trash’, that was so catchy. I tell you, we were all pissing ourselves”
For their part, the UN is said to be red-faced over the fuck up. A statement released by them over night read:
“What the fuck we were thinking we don’t know. On the face of it his credentials were top rate. He appeared such a jovial, open and welcoming sort at the interview, so full of vim and vigour, cracking jokes all the way through, we were in stitches.
“But it turns out it was all a front and he’s the dullest killjoy this side of Antarctica. We are very disappointed. ”
The UN is quickly seeking new candidates to fill the role. Katie Hopkins name has been mentioned and Marine le Penn is also said to be under serious consideration, but it is all still very hush hush.
As soon as the replacement is found you will be the first to know!
