A Rochdale fish and chip shop owner has been telling us how one of his employees is convinced he Kim Jong Un.
Ray Fry told us, “A few months ago we put an ad in The Rochdale Herald for an assistant. This Korean kid applied. He seemed nice so we set him on peeling potatoes.
“One day he told us his grandfather was the best potato peeler in Korea. It didn’t seem that remarkable. Then he started coming to work with assistants. They’d hang on his every word and write down everything he said. I thought that a bit odd.
“Now he keeps telling me I’m exploiting the people of Rochdale like some dirty plutocrat. I didn’t even know what that was. He won’t let me out of the shop now and keeps saying the people will need to judge me.”
Customer Alfred Ginster said, “He once casually mentioned he was into basketball and he’d met Dennis Rodman. Then one day he told me the NBA had banned him because he was so good. I arranged a game at the local leisure centre. I knew he’d be rubbish because he’s no hand eye coordination and everytime I see him he’s eating chips.
Anyway, we got to the leisure centre. We did a few warm up exercises and he was knackered. The game started and someone passed him the ball. Somehow he went to catch it and it hit him in the face. He made out it didn’t hurt but we knew it did. He had to have 10 minutes on the sidelines smoking a cigarette until his face stopped stinging.
“The staff tried to stop him smoking and these 7 blokes just appeared and took the staff member away. Nobody’s seen him since. Later on he presented me with the Order of Kim Jong Un. It’s nice but he expects me to wear it every time I go down the shops and warns me of grave consequences if I don’t.
“I don’t really believe he’s Kim but he was rubbish at basketball just like you’d expect Kim to be. Why would Kim Jong Un be working in a chip shop in Rochdale?”
Other customers have been telling us about the mysterious chipper/dictator. One local resident who wished to remain anonymous said, “I was in there the other night. This old woman came in. She said his chips were overdone and she wants her money back. Nobody’s seen her since and his henchmen keep trying to sell us soap.
“Dodgy if you ask me.
He can’t be Kim though.
Can he?”
