Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate.
On his Inauguration Day on 20th January 2017 Trump’s circumference was approximately 50 inches. Last night a representative told The Rochdale Herald’s Presidential Mass correspondent that the President had expanded to a massive 175 inches, almost 15 feet.
An expert confirmed “every time Trump opens his mouth to make a spurious remark, racist comment or to threaten a country with death, he inhales more air. As he is constantly spouting crap his intake of air is huge. At his current rate of expansion, we estimate he will combust within a month, creating an explosion so big it could wipe out a country the size of North Korea.” A White House spokesman confirmed “President Trump is aware that he is inflating and is taking steps to shut his mouth when possible, although he has categorically failed up to now.”
The Oval Office is to be refurbished to accommodate his increased girth and will be renamed the Big Round Office. His weird hairpiece is also being restyled using bales of the finest yak’s hair to ensure sufficient coverage of his fat bonce. Old sails from some of the world’s tallest ships are being remade into presidential underpants and used circus tents fashioned into trousers.
The Rochdale Herald understands that a Japanese whaling fleet is on standby should the President explode and the candle industry is preparing for a bumper year.
