The bilge tanks of mainstream media are overflowing today with irrepressible joy and mental sewerage at the prospect of wannabe despot Donald Trump declaring war on North Korea.
This means big bombs. Dead kids. As long as they’re not American kids it’s really okay. Toothless buildings. Think of the building contracts to come? Plenty of being right. A hell of a lot of being really right.
Lots of excitable women shouting on television in honour of the glorious leader. And that’s just on Fox and Friends. Imagine what it’s going to be like in North Korea.
This really is going to be great. Especially if you’re a flag waving, gun toting American.
Trump maybe trying to take away your healthcare but at least he has the bombs damn it to make the world glow brightly in a land far enough away to make you feel safe at home.
Unless you live in Guam or South Korea or Japan or, don’t worry it, we’re not even sure which one of them is part of the USA.
A White House spokesman did give the following statement to the Rochdale Herald,
“HAVE I BEEN FIRED YET? Please tell me WHEN HE’S GOING TO PULL THE TRIGGER!”
They weren’t much use. So we spoke to a stump of wood that used to be a tree to see what it thought.
“There is a certain appeal in the thought of no more ridiculous fat kid on the Korean Peninsula boasting daily.” The stump opined.
“It is already a close contest between the two men of hair as to who is the greater tyrant. Why make everyone pick you Donald?”
Good question stump of wood. “Kim Jong-un has greater family pedigree, it’s debatable though if he is less sane than Trump?”
One thing you can be confident about is if Donald Drumpf decides to turn millions of deprived and entrapped North Koreans into dust, at least they won’t be hungry anymore, which is more than you can say for millions of poor Americans who exercised their right to choose and chose gold lift Trump and the dream of a brighter tomorrow.
Tomorrow maybe very bright.
Two suns in the sunset bright. Especially if Donald decides to declare war while sitting on the shitter ranting on Twitter.