Paul Nuttall revealed UKIP’s Irish policy this afternoon and raised more hair than usual.
“It’s clear Ireland is a problem as the United Kingdom hurtles towards both independence and patriotic destiny.”
Mr. Nuttall pointed to a map taped to the wall behind him with the entire island of Ireland painted in UKIP’s colours with a pound sign large in the middle.
“It’s time to stop muddling through with our island territory. Devolved rule in both the Republic and Northern Ireland risks fracturing the United Kingdom on the day of Brexit. I have a solution.”
At this point Mr. Nuttall pulled down the map to reveal a second one. The second map showed the entire island draped in the Union Jack.
“UKIP’s solution is simple. Ireland should be re-united as one province under the care of Westminster. When I am elected to government on the 8th June I will tell the EU hands off our Ireland! Hands off all of it.”
His policy was met with stunned silence for several seconds and then the understandable swearing began.
Asked to comment on UKIP’s policy James Brokenshire, Secretary of State for Northern Ireland said,
“I don’t think Paul’s grasp of geography is that great. He forgot to include the Isle of Mann in his Irish maps.”
