Some people in the Conservative Party don’t have blind and unquestioning faith in dogmatic free market bullshit, a rich bloke who charges people extortionate rates for power has claimed.
Iain Conn (honestly, that’s not a name made up for satirical purposes; he’s really called Conn!) the big boss of Centrica is astounded that a party that is supposed to represent people rather than corporate interests is actually doing that for a change.
“The Tories are supposed to be the party of the free market,” said Conn, “unlike the other two parties of the free market, they are supposed to be about the free market! Anybody knows that that if somebody is being charged a ridiculously high rate by a company that they’re tied into a contract with, then all they have to do is not pay their bills, get taken to court, have a meter fitted that charges them an even higher rate and that will sort it out!”
The ire of the rich goit comes after Theresa May said that she would introduce energy caps to prevent further profiteering by the energy industry.
“That’s totally unfair! We didn’t have any warning that they were going to cut off part of our money supply!” said the Conn man, “Besides the industry has done a fine job of policing itself for the thirty years since privatisation and our profits have soared at the expense of customers. How can that be wrong?”
To be fair, conservatives have in the past said that not allowing energy firms to strip the poor of their resources was a dangerous idea that they could never get behind unless there was an election.
Customers are allowed to switch providers provided they aren’t in a contract- or are willing to pay the penalty for breaching one- but few do it.
“You have to wait hours on the phone, the switch invariably goes wrong, the companies tell you you’re not in a contract when you are and half the time the rates you are given are utterly fictional,” said Adam Bloke from Rochdale, “so tell me again why it is you’re wondering why only a handful of people bother switching suppliers.”
Centrica’s shares took a tumble after the capping announcement meaning that some executives may not be able to afford the top model Aston Martin this year and may have to settle for one of those ones without the built in entertainment system.
