Oh, for fuck’s sake said everyone this morning, following reports of more people dying at the hands of total arseholes.
After news broke of the murder of 12 people at a Christmas market in Berlin, everyone shook their heads, let out a resigned sigh and carried on as if this is somehow the new normal.
A recent study has found that the phrase is now 2016’s most commonly used expression, followed closely by “Seriously, what the fuck?” and “Christ, not another one”.
Sociology professor, Graham Spigot, explained;
“After 12 months of celebrity deaths, terror attacks and Donald Trump it’s hard to think of a phrase that better encapsulates the public’s perception that everything’s fucked and is going to continue to be fucked for the foreseeable future.”
The phrase “I told you so” came fourth, with evidence suggesting that it was becoming increasingly popular with the sort of people who think the Daily Express is actually a newspaper.
MailOnline ‘reader’, Darren Fudd, said;
“I told you so, didn’t I? Bloody did. At least I think I did.”
“I got a two-year driving ban for trying to upload a dick pic to my Tinder profile whilst driving a 16-wheeler through Rochdale town centre, yet it’s fine for some Muslamic bloke to hijack a lorry and drive it into a Christmas market. It’s PC gone mad!”
However, Professor Spigot highlighted that use of the phrase by followers of right-wing news sites was often just a way for them to assert some authority over their otherwise meaningless lives.
“Use of ‘I told you so’ allows certain people to feel empowered, which is particularly important amongst those who lack the intellect to put together a basic argument. Or ‘c*nts’, to use the vernacular.
“Though I can’t decide if it’s better or worse than the hand-wringing apologism that will inevitably start spewing forth from Guardian readers.”
He added, “Sorry, what’s that? A shooting at a mosque? In Zurich? Last night? Really? Oh, for fuck’s sake…”
