Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of ‘Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries’ greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of America into a parody of itself.
Fat people all over the US breathed a sigh of relief as a second-rate, ageing reality TV star and his porn-star wife became the most powerful couple in the world.
“If you wrote it, they wouldn’t believe it…”, said satire expert Professor I. Toyldyouso of Tokyo University, going on to remark, “…like most satire, some people will not find it funny.”
When questioned as to who these people might be he said it would consist of most of the rest of the world and those Americans who were not criminally insane.
The news is good for gun owners, racists and psychopaths although some Trump voters were already confused by the news that this is not a weekly competition and that they would be stuck with the result for the next 4 years – if the planet lasts that long.
“I thought we would be able to vote for another funny lunatic next week…”, said one redneck. “Goddam, you mean we’re stuck with this fruitcake?”
