Albert J Bilsborough, 63, has finally left the M25 after 30 years, after also being amongst the first motorists to enter the hell road.
The road itself, unlike most users, also made it to 30 today.
“I should’ve known that it was cursed really when Beelzebub Thatcher herself opened it,” said the Rochdale based plumber, “but I have just seen that we still have an evil Tory woman as PM and the tele is still a load of bollocks so I doubt I missed owt while I was on t’road.”
Albert drove onto the M25 on 29 October 1986 on his way from a broken ballcock in London to a replacement washer job in Essex but between confusion over exits, roadworks and several closures of the Dartford Tunnel, he never made it off the road and kept circling round.
“I kept finding things I had the back o’ me Allegro had become worth more as collectors items and sold them on for petrol money at the services,” he explained, “but I had to actually drive off at junction 27 this time as my cylinder head gasket was buggered. Cost me a bag of Commodore 64 games to fix it.”
What are Alberts plans now?
“Well, I doubt that the job in Essex is still waiting but I figured I might check anyway,” he told us, “I hear there’s a bridge at Dartford now and that’s got to be better than that awful bloody tunnel. I have to give it a go.”
We didn’t tell him but we did give him a smartphone and a link to Southend News Network’s Dartford Tolls song.
