A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne.
Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after seeking veterinary care.
“Aye, I wiz jist out for a run like when this friggin posh car came speeding roond the corner like a feckin maniac,” the young buck said, “I dinnae stand a chance and I’m pretty feckin nippy, aye?”
The car was transporting the prince, famed for shagging some horse-faced rich trollop whilst married to the late Diana. It is not known if the over-privileged, crystal powered homeopathy loving half-wit was driving or had some skivvy doing it for him.
“He might be in line to be king, but the c*** thinks he’s king o’ the feckin road!” continued Dougal, “I had to spend four oors on the vet’s table aving ma bits put back! Clumsy rich fecker! I’ll feckin nut tha c*** if I see the bastit again!”
