In an attempt to make the Labour leadership election more comradely and fairer, the Labour PLP has been trawling through the social media activities of all its members.
Members who were deemed to be lefty loonies, anti-Blair, anti-Smith, anti-nuclear eradication or simply wanted a fairer society had their votes voided in the upcoming leadership election.
Anne Wainwright was shocked to learn that she paid £25 to not vote;
“I was extremely angry” she said “I wanted to vote for Jeremy Corbyn but was barred because I’d tweeted a picture of a monkey called Tony in 2009.”
After calculating the remaining eligibe members only Dark Lord Peter Mandelson remained. Stroking a white fluffy cat perched on his knee with his face obscured, he let out a tyrannical laugh before saying;
“It appears my plan…er…democracy has worked leaving my vote as the only one that counts.”
He refused to say who he would be backing however.
