Theresa May has today unveiled plans to improve the diet of malnourished children in areas with high levels poverty.

“This is a great policy that kills two pheasants with one load of buckshot” said the Prime Minister.

“With the imminent reintroduction of Fox hunting, there will be plenty of fresh, slightly mangled meat to be donated to food banks; no more shall the withered offspring of the proles be forced to eat Corned beef well beyond it’s sell by date; that is my vision for a Strong and Stable Britain.”

When asked how much meat donations can be expected the PM said. “Well, whatever is left after the hounds have had their fill, there is a pecking order in our society after all.”

 

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