British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign by ‘hooded foreigners’ who accused them of discrimination and uncleanliness.

The move was announced by Minnie Cook, the company’s CEO at a crowded press conference last night.

“People would pull up in cars and ask what was in our breakfasts.” Ms. Cook said. “When they found out that bacon and sausages were made out of pork, many of them pointed out that as
pork is forbidden to certain sections of the community, we were unfairly discriminating against minorities.”

A Dorset based Little Chef attempted to placate a coach load of ‘foreigners’ by offering them breakfasts with extra egg, beans and hash-browns but was threatened with a cultural boycott. “Despite the fact that our restaurants have the highest hygiene rating currently available, we were accused of being ‘unclean’,” said the manager.

The national policy was decided because “…frankly it is easier to give in to these demands because we will then appear to be politically correct.” said Ms. Cook.

Reaction has been fierce. A ‘nationalist’ who did not want to be identified said “This is insane. Our culture is being destroyed. Little Chef is part of our heritage.”  He added

“We want our breakfasts back.”

 

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