82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced that he is ready to die.
Although not in any actual ill health other than that brought about by being 82 years old and having experienced this bastard of a year, Leonard Cohen announced in an interview with The New Yorker that: “… maybe I’ll get a second wind, I don’t know. But I don’t dare attach myself to a spiritual strategy. I don’t dare do that. I am ready to die. I hope it’s not too uncomfortable. That’s about it for me.”
The genius Canadian crooner behind Hallelujah, Suzanne and Everybody Knows recently grieved for the loss of his long time muse Marianne.
Long Term Cohen fan Andy Elderwood from Rochdale said;
“Well fuck you 2016 you nasty, smelly fucking leaky bag of festering cat vomit and shite! Fuck you to fucking Fucksville, you fucking fuck!”
After Lemmy died just before new year and with Prince, Victoria Wood, Father Jack, Harper Lee, Alan Rickman, Howard Marks, Keith Emerson, Ed Stewart, Terry Wogan and David fucking Bowie dying since, people are now lining up to kick 2016 in it’s fugly, hairy balls.
Meanwhile, with Trump still actually in the running to become commander in chief of the United States, the Kremlin gathering forces along Russia’s westernmost borders, and Brexiteers still existing there is hope that 2016 may not even survive itself.
“To be honest,” said a spokesman for Space X/Tesla, “The whole thing about us building rockets in the private sector is because if 2016 has taught us anything it’s that it’s about time to take off and nuke this shithole from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”